1387 replies to this topic

[Braunkopf]

Ej, iz tega smo se mi včasih tok norce delal:

[Adriane]

Immortal über alles!

Oni so mi zmeraj bli vir krohota
Našla en video. Predelava Blashyrkh v poljščini KLIK

[Hevea]

Moj fant me prime za gleženj, dvigne mojo nogo v zrak in reče: Tvoja noga zgleda kot kij od Martina Krpana! Jst nisem vedla če naj se smejem al se jočem On reče, da to je komplimet, potem sm šla na internet pogledat, kakšen je sploh bil ta kij, in sm našla tole sliko.

In sm se "užalila"

Moja sestrična pa boža našo mucko in vpraša: Kaj vaša mačka je mačka al je pes? Nobenemu ni blo nič jasno, njej pa še najmanj Hotla vprašat, če je mačka al je maček

[sajk]

Na Dunaju ... na poti s koncerta Metallice v precejšnjem drenu eden od obeh kolegov s komer sem bil, opazi vodičko in jo povpraša kje čaka avtobus. Malo kasneje se drugi začudi, kako hudiča jo je v onem drenu sploh opazil. Pripomnim "'ma uč za grde ženske ...". Nato je debata stekla v smer a je to podpasna izjava ali že pod kolenom

[*simoncy*]

Jst sem pa v trgovini naletela na zanimivo situacijo.. Gre neka deklina sprobati oblačila v kabino.. Prletim jst v trgovino in me trgovka povpraša če mi lahko pomaga.. In se zasliši glas iz kabine:"joj hvala ampk bom zmogla sama" Najbolj huda izjava šele pride.. namreč ogledujem si neko super majčko in jo samo prislonim nase in se pogledam v ogledalu, nakar trgovka pripomni, da mi ta barva čudovito paše, ampk da mi bo prnesla kako manjšo številko za probat - spet sledi ogorčen odgovor iz kabine: "kaj, kako ste pa vedl da mi je prevelk modrc, kako pa veste da mi paše, kaj špejate?"
Jst sm misla da bom crknla od smeha, trgovka isto.. tista deklina pa tud ko je skopčala za kaj se gre, da so bile pravzaprav vse trgovkine besede namenjene meni
Ne vem kako je možn, da deklina ni že prej skapirala, ampk..se zgodi

[limeta]

čis u trenutku nezbranosti sm itjavla:dej gobec pred usta!!!
namesto dej roko pred usta...in to sm izjavla sred pokopališča da jke blo ja še bl smešn...pa...usi(2 osebi) so nas gledal k d smo z marsa

[*simoncy*]

Pa poleg tiste "trgovinske" debate, ki sem jo prejle omenila, sem se spomnila še včerajšnjega dialoga med mano in mojim bratom-stanje: na mizi je bila neka špaga, zunaj pa je padal dež..in sedaj dialog:

jaz: "kam dam to špago?"
brat: ....tišina, brez besed mi nakloni nek čuden pogled..
jaz: "halo, neki sm vprašala"
brat: ...še vedno nič, samo čedalje bolj začuden pogled..
jaz: "alo s tabo se menm, mi lahko odgovoriš?"
brat: "pa mala dej nehi se drogirat, ženska ti res nisi normalna"
jaz: "pa kaj ti je"
brat: "kaj ti to mene resno sprašuješ? nehi me strašit, pokaž mi roke" (in mi u fori čekira roke -kao išče sledi če se špikam "
jaz: "ja pol pa jst nism normalna, ne znaš mi normalno odgovorit na vprašanje kam dam eno bogo špago-ok jo bom pa vtaknila nekam da jo boš potli iskal, tut ok"
brat: "ajaaaaaaaaaa, a kaaaam daš špaaagooo, ja pa tkooo poveeeeej... jst sm te pa zastopu da si vprašla zakaj dež pada"

IN POTEM SMEH V ENO, ENE PET MINUT SE NISVA POBRALA
Nisem verjetno vsake besede v piko zadela, ampk po spominu je blo tko nekak
Starejša ko sva, bol sva čudaška, še dobr da folk ne sliš vseh najinih izjav

[monni]

brat pa sestrična se igrata:

brat: a čva met tut mitraljeze?
sestrična vsa vesela: jaa dejva met mitraljez!...(pol pa čez par sekund)...em....kaj pa je to mitraljez?
no js sm pa sam opazvala pa se režala....

[Hevea]

Danes zjutraj me je klicala kolegica, kr je rabla urnik od ginekologa. Jst sm še spala.
Pogovor je bil približno tak:

Ona: Čaw, kaj maš ti uni listek z urnikom od ginekologa??
Jst: Kakšen listek?
Ona: Ja z urnikom od ginekologa.
Jst: Kaj?
Ona: URNIK OD GINEKOLOGA!
Jst: Ou ma kaj je to?
Ona: Kaj kaj je? Ginekolog?
Jst: Kaj? Ma jst ne vem kaj je to, resno!!
Ona: Ma kaj ne veš, sej si že bla tam!
Jst: Ma dej, nimam pojma o čemu govoriš, povej še enkrat!
Ona: GINEKOLOG!
Jst: AAAAAAaaa!! Aja ja ja Dej te pokličem nazaj ki se morem zbudit!
Ona: Ja bi rekla...

Jst res nisem mela pojma, o čemu to ona blebeta.

[Kami]

Moj je zadnjič eno simpatično izjavil.

Gledala sem na internetu katero knjigo bi si še kupila in začnem mojmu na dolgo in široko razlagat o naslovih in vsebinah. In vmes pade tudi naslov Suši za začetnike (spet o parih prijateljicah in njihovih težavah).
Moj (ki pa za nič na svetu ne mara rib) me pa čukast gleda in malo bled izjavi: a ti resno misliš, da bom jedel surove ribe. Tipa sem z naslovom tako šokirala, da sploh ni poslušal vsebine knjige.

[Hevea]

Jst sm se z mojim zadnjič pogovarjala o mojem delu in o temu, kolko dni na teden delam. Jst sm rekla da nevem in da kar se mene tiče vse dni, in on potem zelo resno in zgroženo izjavi: Pa valda ne moreš delat osem dni na tede!!

[Kami]

Tole sem dobila po malu, pa nisem vedela kam dat - full dobra fora!



If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not! We have all had bad dates.... but this takes the cake. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah . It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a toilet and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her take a leak beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her arse rest against the rear bumper bar to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's bumper bar.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply hat indeed, she was "freezing her arse off and in need of some
assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her arse off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

...."This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

[Emily]

Hudo.

[Kinky]

Kdor si domišlja, da je dober človek le zato, ker hodi v cerkev, je podobno, kot če bi stal sredi garaže in mislil, da je avto.

[Coco*]

LOL, zdej sem se spomnila ene

Sta bla na ulici en mali, ki se je pred kratkim priselil iz Bosne in njegov ful zatežen starejši sosed, non stop se je nekaj pritoževal. No, takrat je nekaj utrujal tamalemu in pol se še razburi:"Lej mulca, on mene tika!" Malemu nič jasno pa se začne dret:"Vidi, jebo mater što laže, nisam ga takno!!!"

[Braunkopf]

Ubrlol!!! Mali je faca.

[limeta]

svaka čast temu mulčeku

[Jinadaze]

[Kebabsi]

Moj kolega in njegova starejša sestra sta zaposlena v vojski. Imata pa še mlajšo sestro, ki je dopolnila 13 let in je prava mala čveka. Nekega dne se ta mala čveka, odpravlja domov s svojo najbolšo frendico(ki je tut zelo zgovorna) in se lepo pogovarjata, kako je njen brat v vojski pa sestra. Med tem, ko lepo špancirata in tamala ful razlaga kako vsi pr njej doma delajo v vojski, pa ju vpraša en četrošolček( ki je slučajno hodu za njima in prisluhnil pogovoru): KA MATE VI DOMA TANK?

[laLa°]

^^