Micka in Fata se pogovarjata, koliko doma seksata.
Fata: "Jaz kakih 2-3 krat na dan."
Micka: "Super! Kako ti to uspeva?"
Fata: "Mujotu rečem na primer: Podražil se je sladkor. On reče 'Jebe se mi.' Jaz rečem, da se meni tudi jebe in potem zrihtava."
Zvečer poskusi Micka pri Janezu: "A veš, da se bo podražil kruh!"
Janez: "Dol mi visi."
Dobri vici...
Started by
*sweety*
, Sep 19 2004 07:11 PM
2691 replies to this topic
#2341
Kinky
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Posted 04 May 2011 - 11:05 AM
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2342
Kalypso
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Posted 11 May 2011 - 03:21 PM
Chuck Norris lahko zaloputne z vrati brez da jih zapre.
Chuck Norris je ubil svojega nasprotnika že s tem, ko mu je "vrgel rokavico".
Chuck Norris lahko ureja PDF datoteke z Microsoft Wordom.
Chuck Norris je ubil svojega nasprotnika že s tem, ko mu je "vrgel rokavico".
Chuck Norris lahko ureja PDF datoteke z Microsoft Wordom.
#2343
Nincha
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Posted 29 May 2011 - 10:43 AM
Chuck Norris: Halo, da li je to Boris Novković?
Boris Novković: Da..
Chuck Norris: Slušaj, znam ko ti je uzeo Tamaru!
Boris Novković: Da..
Chuck Norris: Slušaj, znam ko ti je uzeo Tamaru!
After all this time?
Always.
#2344
Adriane
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Posted 02 June 2011 - 01:09 PM
Igrale se dvije curice u parku, kad jedna od njih uzme poduži štap i kaže drugoj:
Vidi, vidi, moj tata ima ovakav! A druga će njoj: Pa moj nema takav, ali svejedno boli!
Vidi, vidi, moj tata ima ovakav! A druga će njoj: Pa moj nema takav, ali svejedno boli!
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Bruce Lee
opera_volgae_malek
#2345
Adriane
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Posted 03 June 2011 - 12:18 AM
Pride stranka v frizerski salon in se usede na stol.
Frizer ga povpraša o frizuri.
On pravi: "Spredaj poševno iz leve proti desni, nad levim ušesom na nulo,
nad desnim stopničasto, na vrhu glave za pest veliko plešo, zadaj pa
resice!"
... Frizer ga začudeno pogleda in pravi: "Ja, to pa ne vem, če bo šlo!"
Stranka nazaj: "A prejšnjič ti je pa uspelo, pizda ti materna!!!!!"
Frizer ga povpraša o frizuri.
On pravi: "Spredaj poševno iz leve proti desni, nad levim ušesom na nulo,
nad desnim stopničasto, na vrhu glave za pest veliko plešo, zadaj pa
resice!"
... Frizer ga začudeno pogleda in pravi: "Ja, to pa ne vem, če bo šlo!"
Stranka nazaj: "A prejšnjič ti je pa uspelo, pizda ti materna!!!!!"
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Bruce Lee
opera_volgae_malek
#2346
Kinky
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Posted 04 June 2011 - 03:29 PM
Kako ločiš japonca od kitajca? Z Geigerjevim stevcem...
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2348
Kinky
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 10:36 PM
Harry Potter došao u Bosnu i otvorio školu za čarobnjake.
Prijavi se Haso i poslije par predavanja imaju ispit.
Pita Harry:
”Kako ćeš pretvoriti kokoš u zmiju?”
Haso (ko iz topa):
”Oženiš je bolan!”
Prijavi se Haso i poslije par predavanja imaju ispit.
Pita Harry:
”Kako ćeš pretvoriti kokoš u zmiju?”
Haso (ko iz topa):
”Oženiš je bolan!”
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2349
Adriane
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 10:38 PM
Ne razumem. 
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Bruce Lee
opera_volgae_malek
#2350
Anouk
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 10:58 PM
Hint: think 'ženske'. 
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2351
Adriane
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 11:00 PM
Ta "je bolan" ima isto funkcijo kot "bre", npr.? Potem razumem. 
Samega izraza pa ne poznam. :/
Tnx!
Samega izraza pa ne poznam. :/Tnx!
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Bruce Lee
opera_volgae_malek
#2352
Anouk
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 11:21 PM
Pomoje ima isto funkcijo kot "nor" ali kaj podobnega, nisem pa ekspert
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2353
Adriane
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 11:24 PM
Ja, ja, kakopak. Sedaj, ko omenjaš ima res smisel!
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
Bruce Lee
opera_volgae_malek
#2354
Anouk
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Posted 05 June 2011 - 11:49 PM
S Facebook-a:
"Pahor, Kresal in Golobič... imate 3 x NE in ne greste v naslednji krog."
"Pahor, Kresal in Golobič... imate 3 x NE in ne greste v naslednji krog."
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2355
Kinky
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Posted 09 June 2011 - 08:16 PM
V OŠ.
Tovarišica: Haso, kje si se ti rodil?
Haso: V Kopru.
Tovarišica: Ali to pomeni, da si Slovenec?
Haso: Da.
Janezek: Tovarišica, ali potem to pomeni, da je tudi osel, ki se rodi v Lipici, lipicanec.
Tovarišica: Haso, kje si se ti rodil?
Haso: V Kopru.
Tovarišica: Ali to pomeni, da si Slovenec?
Haso: Da.
Janezek: Tovarišica, ali potem to pomeni, da je tudi osel, ki se rodi v Lipici, lipicanec.
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2356
Kinky
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Posted 13 June 2011 - 07:47 PM
kelnarca: kaj prinesem?
gost: eno laško pivo
kelnarca: nimam laškega piva. a bo union vredu?
gost: a bo vredu, če plačam z denarjem za monopoly?
In še en kinky
Mlada mačka u kafiću naručuje cappuccino.
Konobar donosi cappuccino i poslije prvog gutljaja ona ga zove i
kaže da želi drugi jer ovaj miriše na kurac.
Konobar donese drugi i poslije par minuta, ona ga vraća jer kaže
da i taj miriše na kurac.
Konobar u čudu ode do gazde i kaže mu da ona djevojka vraća već
drugi cappuccino jer joj miriše na kurac.
Gazda uzme šalicu, pomiriše i kaže konobaru: "Vrati joj ovo, i reci
joj, da pije drugom rukom!"
gost: eno laško pivo
kelnarca: nimam laškega piva. a bo union vredu?
gost: a bo vredu, če plačam z denarjem za monopoly?
In še en kinky
Mlada mačka u kafiću naručuje cappuccino.
Konobar donosi cappuccino i poslije prvog gutljaja ona ga zove i
kaže da želi drugi jer ovaj miriše na kurac.
Konobar donese drugi i poslije par minuta, ona ga vraća jer kaže
da i taj miriše na kurac.
Konobar u čudu ode do gazde i kaže mu da ona djevojka vraća već
drugi cappuccino jer joj miriše na kurac.
Gazda uzme šalicu, pomiriše i kaže konobaru: "Vrati joj ovo, i reci
joj, da pije drugom rukom!"
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2357
Kinky
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Posted 20 June 2011 - 10:56 AM
Mujo: "Mog malog u školi svi zovu Urac...!"
Suljo: "Pa zašto to, kako mu je pravo ime?"
Mujo: "pa Enis!"
Suljo: "Pa zašto to, kako mu je pravo ime?"
Mujo: "pa Enis!"
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2358
rea
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Posted 23 June 2011 - 10:17 PM
Koji je crnogorski rekord na 100 metara?
60 metara !
60 metara !
There are some things I may not know
There are some places, dear Lord, I may not go.
But there's one thing of which I'm sure
My God is real for I can feel him in my soul.
I have found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord Hare Ram, Ram, Ram
Hare Ram, Ram, Ram, Sita Ram, Ram, Ram
#2359
Kinky
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Posted 29 June 2011 - 10:14 AM
Dolazi Mujo pripit kasno navečer kući i Fata ga bijesno dočeka na vratima:
"Tako dakle, u tri ujutro se vraćaš kući?"
"Ko je reko da se vraćam? Samo sam došo po gitaru!"
"Tako dakle, u tri ujutro se vraćaš kući?"
"Ko je reko da se vraćam? Samo sam došo po gitaru!"
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2360
Dragica
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Posted 30 June 2011 - 02:45 PM
Če hočeš nekaj, česar še nimaš in nisi nikoli imel, naredi nekaj, česar nisi še nikoli naredil.
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