3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14 ...
Dobri vici...
Started by
*sweety*
, Sep 19 2004 07:11 PM
2691 replies to this topic
#2321
Nincha
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Posted 12 March 2011 - 10:38 PM
Kako matematik kliče piščančka?
3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14 ...
3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14 ...
After all this time?
Always.
#2322
Coco*
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Posted 12 March 2011 - 10:48 PM
Kaj reče zadnji Slovenec, ko stoji sredi Slovenije in se razgleduje okoli? 'Nema nas više...'
Everything you can imagine is real.
Pablo Picasso
Pablo Picasso
#2323
Kinky
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Posted 16 March 2011 - 10:26 AM
Oče malega Mihca sedi na robu postelje in si natika kondom, da osreči ženo.
Mihec pomoli glavo skozi vrata in vpraša očeta:
- Kaj pa delaš očka?
Oče se hitro skloni naprej, da bi skril svojo lulo in začne gledati po tleh:
- Oh, iščem miš, ki sem jo pravkar videl tu nekje.
Mali Mihec pa:
- Kaj ji boš pa naredu, a jo boš nategnu?
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2324
ananas
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Posted 16 March 2011 - 12:02 PM
QUOTE(Nincha @ 12. 3. 2011 - 22:38) 
Kako matematik kliče piščančka?
3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14, 3'14 ...
#2325
ora
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Izberi si sam
Posted 20 March 2011 - 12:03 PM
CN je edini, ki upa stari mami dopovedat, da ni več lačen.
#2326
rea
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I'll never be maria magdalena
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Posted 21 March 2011 - 02:12 AM
Klepetata na klopci v parku dva starejša upokojenca, pa gospa vpraša gospoda:
"Koliko let pa imate?"
On: "95 "
Ona: "Ne bi vam dala"
On: "Sej tut ne bi mogu.
"Koliko let pa imate?"
On: "95 "
Ona: "Ne bi vam dala"
On: "Sej tut ne bi mogu.
There are some things I may not know
There are some places, dear Lord, I may not go.
But there's one thing of which I'm sure
My God is real for I can feel him in my soul.
I have found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord Hare Ram, Ram, Ram
Hare Ram, Ram, Ram, Sita Ram, Ram, Ram
#2327
Braunkopf
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Posted 22 March 2011 - 04:26 PM
Vuelvo al Sur,
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.
#2328
Immortelle
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Posted 24 March 2011 - 09:31 AM
Nove Slovenske kletvice:
1. Da bi ti Murko pel na poroki!
2. Da bi ti otrok fušal kot Sandra Auer!
3. Da bi ti Baričevič psa čuval!
4. Da bi te Hilda zaposlila!
5. Da bi ti Lucienne otroke učila govorit slovensko!
6. Da bi ti Zidar zidal!
7. Da bi živel v celovških dvorih!
ॐ Be a voice, not an echo. ॐ
#2329
Kalypso
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zlata ribica
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Posted 27 March 2011 - 11:54 AM
Chuck Norris tak hitro špricer spije, da vsi mehurčki ostanejo v kozarcu.
#2330
Kinky
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Posted 27 March 2011 - 12:13 PM
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2331
sajk
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Nebodigatreba :)
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Posted 30 March 2011 - 06:49 PM
Črni humor, slišal med TV Dnevnikom na RTV SLO, gre pa za povzetek izjave za javnost družbe TEPCO, ki upravlja z nuklearkami v Fukušimi:
... "ne vedo, kako ohladiti reaktorje" ... in nato v istem stavku "sporočili, da jih bodo morali ugasniti".
Ja ... super ... ampak ne brez ohlajanja pred tem ... To tako nategujejo folk ... 
... "ne vedo, kako ohladiti reaktorje" ... in nato v istem stavku "sporočili, da jih bodo morali ugasniti".
Ja ... super ... ampak ne brez ohlajanja pred tem ...
To tako nategujejo folk ...
#2332
rea
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I'll never be maria magdalena
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Posted 31 March 2011 - 04:49 PM
Janezek vidi oceta piti pivo in ga vprasa, ce lahko tudi on dobi en
pozirek.
Oce ga pa vprasa:
"Sine, a se ti lahko z lulckom dotaknes ritke?" Janezek proba in pravi da
ne gre.
"No, potem si pa se premajhen," mu rece oce.
Cez kaksen mesec pa Janezek na 3x3 zadane glavni dobitek in ga oce
zaprosi, ce odstopi tudi njemu kaksen milijoncek, da bo zamenjal avto.
Janezek pa ga vprasa:
"Oci, a se ti lahko z lulckom dotaknes ritke?"
"Seveda lahko" mu ponosno odvrne.
"No, potem se pa jebi!"
There are some things I may not know
There are some places, dear Lord, I may not go.
But there's one thing of which I'm sure
My God is real for I can feel him in my soul.
I have found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord Hare Ram, Ram, Ram
Hare Ram, Ram, Ram, Sita Ram, Ram, Ram
#2333
Hannah
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Posted 31 March 2011 - 08:04 PM
QUOTE(rea @ 21. 3. 2011 - 3:12)
Klepetata na klopci v parku dva starejša upokojenca, pa gospa vpraša gospoda:
"Koliko let pa imate?"
On: "95 "
Ona: "Ne bi vam dala"
On: "Sej tut ne bi mogu.
Vse, kar si že bil,
in vse, kar boš - nisi. Le
to, kar si - si ti.
(V. Bajac - Knjiga o bambusu)
in vse, kar boš - nisi. Le
to, kar si - si ti.
(V. Bajac - Knjiga o bambusu)
#2334
Kinky
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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:55 PM
Ko je na Gorenjskem mraz
+15 C
To je najvisja poletna temperatura na Gorenjskem.
V Spaniji ljudje nosijo plasce in rokavice.
Gorenjci se soncijo, plavajo v Bohinjskem jezeru, ki ima 10 stopinj.
+10 C
Francozi se pripravljajo na kurilno sezono.
Gorenjci flancajo roze v svojih vrtovih.
+5 C
Italijanski avtomobili ne vzgejo vec.
Gorenjci se pricnejo voziti na motorjih in na zapravljivckih.
0 C
Destilirana voda zmrzuje.
Voda v Bohinjskem jezeru je malo gostejsa.
-5 C
V Kaliforniji veliko ljudi skoraj zmrzne.
Gorenjci pripravijo na dvoriscu zadnji piknik pred zimo.
-10 C
Skoti so priceli s kurilno sezono.
Gorenjci so priceli nositi dolge rokave.
-20 C
Avstralci bezijo iz Mallorce.
Zacetek praznovanj na prostem v Bohinju.
-30 C
V Grciji mnozicno umirajo ljudje zaradi podhladitve.
Gorenjci pricnejo susiti perilo v zaprtih prostorih.
-40 C
Paris se je ustavil zaradi mraza.
Gorenci gredo na hokejsko tekmo na prostem - igrajo Jesenice proti Olimpiji in ozracje je "vroce".
-50 C
Polarni medvedje so evakuirali severni tecaj.
Iz vojasnice v Bohinjski Beli so sporocili, da so zimske vezbe prezivetja na
prostem prestavljene zaradi visokih temperatur.
-70 C
Dedek Mraz se je preselil na jug.
Vojska zapusti vojasnico v Bohinjski Beli in se odpravi na
enotedenske priprave, kako preziveti v zimi.
-183 C
Mikrobi v hrani ne prezivijo vec.
Gorenjske krave se pricnejo pritozevati, da imajo kmetje mrzle roke.
-273 C
Nihanje v atomih preneha.
Gorenjec zacne preklinjat: "Dan's je pa zahvadvu, ejga!" (za tiste k ne razumete gorenjsko, se po lublansk: p**** ja mraz!!!!, ali v lepi slovenscini: "Danes se je pa ohladilo, tristo kosmatih!")
-300 C
Pekel je zmrznil.
Gorenjec posodil denar sosedu.
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2335
Marmelada
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Posted 03 April 2011 - 06:35 PM
^ Tale Gorenjski pa mi je enako beden kot tisti o burji v Ajdovščini. 
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
#2336
Braunkopf
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Posted 04 April 2011 - 10:50 AM
QUOTE(Kinky @ 3. 4. 2011 - 14:55)
-300 C
Pekel je zmrznil.
Gorenjec posodil denar sosedu.
Pa un od Ree je tudi dober.
Vuelvo al Sur,
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.
como se vuelve siempre al amor,
vuelvo a vos,
con mi deseo, con mi temor.
#2337
rea
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I'll never be maria magdalena
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Posted 05 April 2011 - 11:53 PM
Chuck Norris & the GOD igrata poker. GOD: "All in", C.N.: "Raise"
There are some things I may not know
There are some places, dear Lord, I may not go.
But there's one thing of which I'm sure
My God is real for I can feel him in my soul.
I have found a way to live
in the presence of the Lord Hare Ram, Ram, Ram
Hare Ram, Ram, Ram, Sita Ram, Ram, Ram
#2339
Jinadaze
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Posted 14 April 2011 - 01:19 PM
Voze se Mujo I Haso u autobusu, vrućina, kad će šofer.
Da vam pustim air condition?
Nemoj, pusti neke narodnjake, nismo mi za taj hard rock.
Normality is a paved road: It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.
― V. Van Gogh
#2340
Fluffy The Stud Eater
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Posted 23 April 2011 - 02:30 PM
Mož je pravkar končal branje nove knjige z naslovom "Lahko ste gospodar v svoji hiši".
Oddrvel je v kuhinjo in stopil naravnost proti ženi.
Uprl je prst v njen obraz in ostro dejal: "Vedi, da sem od zdaj naprej jaz
gospodar v tej hiši in moja beseda je zakon! Zvečer mi boš pripravila
gurmansko večerjo in ko bom pojedel, mi boš servirala sijajno sladico. Po
večerji bova šla v spalnico in se ljubila tako, kot jaz hočem. Potem mi boš
pripravila kopel, da se bom lahko sprostil. Umila mi boš hrbet in me
zbrisala, nato pa mi boš prinesla pižamo. Nato mi boš zmasirala stopala in
roke. In ugani, kdo me bo oblekel in počesal, ko bo to opravljeno?"
"Jaz bi rekla, da upravnik pogrebnega zavoda!"
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;">“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;">The last day you have on earth, the person you became </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;">will meet the person you could have become.”<br>
- </span></strong><span style="font-size:12px;">Anonymous</span></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;">The last day you have on earth, the person you became </span></strong></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:georgia, serif;"><strong><span style="font-size:12px;">will meet the person you could have become.”<br>
- </span></strong><span style="font-size:12px;">Anonymous</span></span></span></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align:center;"> </p>
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