Kako se zove kralj svih cigana? - Alfa Romeo
Dobri vici...
Started by
*sweety*
, Sep 19 2004 07:11 PM
2691 replies to this topic
#2241
Kinky
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 11:21 AM
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2242
Immortelle
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 04:58 PM
ॐ Be a voice, not an echo. ॐ
#2243
_Planet_
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 08:21 PM
^^
During a recent password audit in a company, it was found that one blondie was using the following password:
"MickieMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told it had to be 8 characters and include at least one capital.
>
During a recent password audit in a company, it was found that one blondie was using the following password:
"MickieMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told it had to be 8 characters and include at least one capital.
>
Rape of the mind is a social disorder...
#2244
Dragica
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 09:37 PM
QUOTE(Kinky @ 10. 11. 2010 - 11:21) 
Kako se zove kralj svih cigana? - Alfa Romeo
Če hočeš nekaj, česar še nimaš in nisi nikoli imel, naredi nekaj, česar nisi še nikoli naredil.
#2245
Anouk
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Posted 10 November 2010 - 10:56 PM
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
honest enough
honest enough
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2247
Anouk
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Posted 29 November 2010 - 05:51 PM
Why is Santa always so happy?
Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2248
Kinky
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Posted 03 December 2010 - 10:45 AM
Natančnost pri (pisnem) izražanju:
Kad pomislimo da su ljudi u stanju dati lijepe novce
agencijama za domenu s
imenom svoje tvrtke ili institucije, a pritom zaboraviti da u
browser-adresi nema razmaka i sve se stapa u neke vrlo
čudne riječi...
Najgori primjer je talijanska energetska tvrtka PowerGen iz
Milana, u kojoj
nisu skužili da će im adresa glasiti www.powergenitalia.com.
Ne znamo
koliko im je dobra struja, ali organi su im svakako moćni.
A 'Otok za olovke' (Pen Island) postao je www.penisland.com.
Tražilica za
terapeute, Therapist Finder (www.therapistfinder.com) izgleda
može naći i
silovatelje, a u jaslicama u Novom Juznom Walesu, u gradu
koji se zove Mole
Station, možda umjesto krtica na stanici zlostavljaju mušterije
jaslica
(www.molestationnursery.com).
PR agencija koja se štosno nazvala Who Represents? (tko
predstavlja?) na
internetu je, naravno, postala www.whorepresents.com - očito
predstavljaju
i kurve. Dok kod razmjene stručnjaka (Experts Exchange)
nismo sigurni da će
svi ostati istog spola (www.expertsexchange.com ), ali će to
barem biti
stručno obavljeno. Valjda.
Kad pomislimo da su ljudi u stanju dati lijepe novce
agencijama za domenu s
imenom svoje tvrtke ili institucije, a pritom zaboraviti da u
browser-adresi nema razmaka i sve se stapa u neke vrlo
čudne riječi...
Najgori primjer je talijanska energetska tvrtka PowerGen iz
Milana, u kojoj
nisu skužili da će im adresa glasiti www.powergenitalia.com.
Ne znamo
koliko im je dobra struja, ali organi su im svakako moćni.
A 'Otok za olovke' (Pen Island) postao je www.penisland.com.
Tražilica za
terapeute, Therapist Finder (www.therapistfinder.com) izgleda
može naći i
silovatelje, a u jaslicama u Novom Juznom Walesu, u gradu
koji se zove Mole
Station, možda umjesto krtica na stanici zlostavljaju mušterije
jaslica
(www.molestationnursery.com).
PR agencija koja se štosno nazvala Who Represents? (tko
predstavlja?) na
internetu je, naravno, postala www.whorepresents.com - očito
predstavljaju
i kurve. Dok kod razmjene stručnjaka (Experts Exchange)
nismo sigurni da će
svi ostati istog spola (www.expertsexchange.com ), ali će to
barem biti
stručno obavljeno. Valjda.
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2249
fifa
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Posted 03 December 2010 - 10:48 AM
Haha, hude! 
A tree too big to embrace ... is born from a slender shoot. A nine-story tower ... rises from a pile of earth. A thousand-mile journey ... begins with a single step.
(taoistična modrost)
#2251
Immortelle
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Posted 03 December 2010 - 11:16 PM
The good, the bad and the ugly:
The good: an attractive female greets you with a hug.
The bad: a surprise boner.
The ugly: it's not yours.
The good: an attractive female greets you with a hug.
The bad: a surprise boner.
The ugly: it's not yours.
ॐ Be a voice, not an echo. ॐ
#2252
Kinky
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Posted 07 December 2010 - 10:25 AM
When the mobile phone inventor for the very first time turned on his new invention called " cell phone" he allready had 2 unanswered calls by Chuck Norris.
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
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When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2253
URŠKA
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Posted 07 December 2010 - 10:43 AM
dobr
"Celotno moč pridobiš šele takrat, ko se zaveš, da si prav to moč uporabljal že ves čas za to, da si sam sebe spodnašal." Deepak Chopra
#2254
Immortelle
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Posted 08 December 2010 - 10:59 PM
razlaga mujo svojo prvo sex iskušnjo... pa ga upraša haso: '' i di se to desilo''?
mujo: pa tamo na bregu..
haso: i kako je bilo?
mujo: pa dobro, ali bio je jedan problem..
haso: koji?
mujo: njezina nas mama pronašla
haso: i šta je rekla?
mujo: BEEEEEEEEEE
Švercali Mujo i Haso rijetku i skupu vjevericu preko granice. Da je carinici ne bi našli, Mujo je stavi u gaće. Prošli su granicu, i taman Haso počne komentirati kako je sve dobro prošlo, a Mujo izvadi vjevericu, slomi
joj vrat, baci ju, skače po njoj, pa je na kraju šutne u grmlje.
"Bolan Mujo što učini, pa to je bilo naših 5000 eura!"-
"Haso! Dok mi je za kurac mislila da je grana i njihala se, izdržao sam!
Dok je za jaja mislila da su orasi i pokušala ih razbiti jedan o drugi, izdržao sam!
Dok je za šupak mislila da je rupa u drvetu I zavukla se ko' u gnijezdo, izdržao sam!"-
"Pa dobro Mujo, a što to nisi mogao izdržati?"-
"Mater joj jebem, kad je počela vući orahe u gnijezdo!
Želvaki Pončo, Jožko in Vinko se odločijo za piknik in Jožko napolni košaro s piškoti, pijačo in sendviči.
Ker je park 20 kilometrov stran, hodijo do njega kar deset dni in ko končno prispejo na cilj, so že popolnoma izmučeni in lačni. Jožko začne prazniti košaro, in ko potegne ven steklenico, ugotovi, da je pozabil odpirač.
Z Vinkom začneta prepričevati Ponča, naj gre ponj nazaj domov.
Pončo ugovarja, ker se boji, da bosta medtem vse pojedla, po dveh urah prepričevanja pa končno popusti in se počasi odpravi proti domu.
Mine 20 dni, a Ponča še vedno ni.
Ko mine še en dan, se Jožko in Vinko vsa sestradana začneta spraševati, kod hodi, a obljuba je obljuba in hrane se ne dotakneta.
Minejo še trije dnevi in Vinko zatarna: "Moram jesti!"
"Ne, obljuba je obljuba," obotavljivo reče Jožko, ko pa mine še pet dni, ne zdržita več.
Ko odpreta usta, da bosta ugriznila v hrano, skoči izza skale Pončo in reče: "Evo, glih zarad tega ne grem!"
mujo: pa tamo na bregu..
haso: i kako je bilo?
mujo: pa dobro, ali bio je jedan problem..
haso: koji?
mujo: njezina nas mama pronašla
haso: i šta je rekla?
mujo: BEEEEEEEEEE
Švercali Mujo i Haso rijetku i skupu vjevericu preko granice. Da je carinici ne bi našli, Mujo je stavi u gaće. Prošli su granicu, i taman Haso počne komentirati kako je sve dobro prošlo, a Mujo izvadi vjevericu, slomi
joj vrat, baci ju, skače po njoj, pa je na kraju šutne u grmlje.
"Bolan Mujo što učini, pa to je bilo naših 5000 eura!"-
"Haso! Dok mi je za kurac mislila da je grana i njihala se, izdržao sam!
Dok je za jaja mislila da su orasi i pokušala ih razbiti jedan o drugi, izdržao sam!
Dok je za šupak mislila da je rupa u drvetu I zavukla se ko' u gnijezdo, izdržao sam!"-
"Pa dobro Mujo, a što to nisi mogao izdržati?"-
"Mater joj jebem, kad je počela vući orahe u gnijezdo!
Želvaki Pončo, Jožko in Vinko se odločijo za piknik in Jožko napolni košaro s piškoti, pijačo in sendviči.
Ker je park 20 kilometrov stran, hodijo do njega kar deset dni in ko končno prispejo na cilj, so že popolnoma izmučeni in lačni. Jožko začne prazniti košaro, in ko potegne ven steklenico, ugotovi, da je pozabil odpirač.
Z Vinkom začneta prepričevati Ponča, naj gre ponj nazaj domov.
Pončo ugovarja, ker se boji, da bosta medtem vse pojedla, po dveh urah prepričevanja pa končno popusti in se počasi odpravi proti domu.
Mine 20 dni, a Ponča še vedno ni.
Ko mine še en dan, se Jožko in Vinko vsa sestradana začneta spraševati, kod hodi, a obljuba je obljuba in hrane se ne dotakneta.
Minejo še trije dnevi in Vinko zatarna: "Moram jesti!"
"Ne, obljuba je obljuba," obotavljivo reče Jožko, ko pa mine še pet dni, ne zdržita več.
Ko odpreta usta, da bosta ugriznila v hrano, skoči izza skale Pončo in reče: "Evo, glih zarad tega ne grem!"
ॐ Be a voice, not an echo. ॐ
#2255
Piquet
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:36 PM
Mujo jebe Fato in vsake toliko obmiruje za nekaj sekund. Fata vpraša:
“Pa šta to radiš bolan Mujo?”
Mujo jo poduči: “Šuti, glupačo! To je svjetski trend sa porno sajtova i zove se buffering …”
“Pa šta to radiš bolan Mujo?”
Mujo jo poduči: “Šuti, glupačo! To je svjetski trend sa porno sajtova i zove se buffering …”
#2256
Anouk
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Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:44 PM
ahahahahahaha
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.” - A. Alda
#2257
Kinky
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:08 AM
Hahahaha
Chuck Norris može da prevede "bre" na engleski.
Chuck Norris može da prevede "bre" na engleski.
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2258
Piquet
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:26 AM
Zakaj v državnih službah ne seksajo na delovnem mestu?
Vse sama žlahta!
#2259
Kinky
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:32 PM
Zelo debeli par se spravi v posteljo delat domačo nalogo. On zleze gor, čez minuto pa pravi:
"Draga, grem ugasnit luč."
"Zakaj, dragi, ali ti je nerodno?"
"Ne, žarnica me žge po riti..."
“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?” (Charles Bukowski)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you open your mind to the impossible, sometimes you find the truth.
#2260
Kalypso
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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:37 PM
Chuck Norris je dal podatke na ključ od kleti.
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